Monday, February 14, 2011

Receiving LOVE

I LOVE my life!

On this Valentine’s Day, I’m spending a few minutes thinking about how much LOVE has transformed my life. I’m not talking about the kind that comes with chocolates, flowers and wine – although I love each of those and won’t pass up any opportunity to be on the receiving end of any gifting.
In our household, there doesn’t have to be a special day to celebrate the spirit of Valentine’s Day.  I am blessed to have a family who, in spite of various quirks and peculiarities, is very loving and supportive of my dreams and passions. I am blessed and appreciative when I receive their hand-made cards, the home-cooked meals, kind words and butterfly kisses just because.
Looking back, there was a time when I was the proverbial wallflower. I prided myself on the ability to be available to others and showered them with love, gifts and kindness at every opportunity. Believing it was better to give than to receive, I closed myself off, refusing most gifts and kindness directed to me. I didn’t realize how selfish and inappropriate this was because I had to be in control – all the time – no matter the situation. If someone did something nice for me, it meant that something was owed in return and I loathed having that responsibility.
 I insulated myself so others wouldn’t be able to see my vulnerabilities. I pretended to be shy and aloof, when in fact; I craved the companionship and joviality of others. In other words, what you give is what you receive. I got plenty of comments and snide remarks from others who saw me as cold and unapproachable – not at all the vibe I “thought” I was giving out.  I can’t tell you how many tears I have cried lamenting my inability to be gracious and accepting.
I remained fearful and closeted for many years because I was unwilling to trust the Divine nature of this experience. It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen. Surrendering complete and absolute control over my life, I found I was suddenly and overwhelmingly blessed with so many acts of pure loving generosity. Opening to the fullness of living Authentically, I find myself continually rewarded and surprised by the many blessings which have transformed my life.  
I no longer cling to the fringes and now welcome the chance to interact spontaneously with my surroundings. I no longer hide who and what I am – instead I choose to live openly as a conduit to the Divine and surround myself with like-minded individuals who have also chosen to reach out and connect. This interconnectedness helps each of us to reach ever-dazzling heights.
My life is no longer black and white, with shades of gray. I’m living it in full-color, surrounded by love. I let go of FEAR as an everyday companion and replaced it instead with a sense of PURPOSE and an overwhelming desire to be a part of that which I once shunned. I am fully supported and buoyed by LOVE all around me, all the time.
The garden of my heart is beautiful, with flowers of all shapes, colors and scents. Their intoxicating beauty reminds me of what I am here to do – to serve in LOVE. Yes, occasionally, there is a stray weed which catches my attention.  Before surrendering it to Mother Earth, I gently pluck it out, thank it for the lesson it has opened my eyes to and then allow it to be transformed and its energies dispersed along the high winds.
With age comes a measure of wisdom. I accept who I am and understand I will continue to grow and change throughout the seasons of my life.  My beautiful heart center is now fully open and remains vibrant because I consciously emit what it is I want to attract – beautiful souls and pleasant energies.  I know and recognize the shared compassion and LOVE that radiates from saying the simple words “thank you”.  I welcome gifts my family and friends choose to share with me on this day. Most importantly, I appreciate the chance to experience the LOVE they are gifting from their hearts.
Remember, it’s always about LOVE!

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